英文在前
Monica: There's nothing to tell. It's just some guy I work with.
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy. There's gotta be something wrong with him!
Chandler: All right, Joey. Be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk? 'cause I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carloh!
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. Relax. This is not even a date. It's not.It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
Chandler: Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.
All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.
Chandler: Then I look down and I realize there is a phone...there.
Joey: Instead of. Chandler: That's right!
Joey: Never had that dream.
Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring.
Chandler: Now I don't know what to do? Everybody starts looking at me.
Monica: They weren't looking at you before?
Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it.
Chandler: And it turns out it's my mother. Which is very, very weird because she never calls me.
Ross: Hi.
Joey: This guy says, "Hello, " I wanna kill myself.
Monica: You okay? sweetie!
Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine pulled it out of my mouth, and tied it around my neck.
Chandler: Cookie?
Monica: Carol moved her stuff out today.
Monica: Let me get you some coffee.
Thanks.
Ross: No, Oh! No don't! Stop cleansing my aura. Just leave my aura alone, okay? Fine, be murky.
Ross: I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be happy.
Monica: No, you don't.
Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!
Joey: You never knew she was a lesbian?
Ross: No! Okay? Why does everyone keep fixating on that?
Ross: She didn't know. How should I know?
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. Did I say that out loud?
Ross: I told Mom and Dad last night. They seemed to take it pretty well.
Monica: Oh, really? So that hysterical phone call I got from a woman sobbing at 3:00 A.M. , "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." was what? A wrong number?
Ross: Sorry.
Joey: Alright Ross, Look, you're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting.
Joey: Can I tell you what the answer is? Strip joints!
Joey: C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones.
Ross: See I don't want to be single, okay?
Ross: I just...I justI just want to be married again.
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars!
Monica: Rachel? Rachel: Oh, God, Monica hi! Thank God!
Rachel: I just went to your building, and you weren't there, and this guy with a big hammer said that you might be here, and you are you are.
Can I get you some coffee?
Monica: Decaf.
Monica: Okay, Everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor.
Monica: This is everybody. this is Chandler and Phoebe and Joey. And, you Remember my brother, Ross?
Rachel: Sure! Hi
Monica: So You wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?
Rachel: Oh God...Well, it started about a halfhour before the wedding.
Rachel: I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat.
Rachel: This really gorgeous Limoges gravy boat. When all of a sudden I realized...Sweet 'n' Lo?
Rachel: I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry!
Rachel: And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: How much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I always knew he looked familiar, but.
Rachel: Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering, "Why am I doing this, " and "Who am I doing this for?"
Rachel: So anyway, I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.
Monica: Who wasn't invited to the wedding.
Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue...
Monica: Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and she's really not happy about it.
Chandler: "Tuna or egg salad! Decide!"
"I'll have whatever Christina's having. "
Rachel: Daddy, I just I can't marry him. I'm sorry. I just don't love him. Well, it matters to me!
Phoebe: "If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off. "
Chandler: Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants.
Joey: I say push her down the stairs.
All: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
Rachel: C'mon Daddy, listen to me! It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, "You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'.
Rachel: And today I just stopped and I said, What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I want to be aa purse? y'know? Or aor a hat!
Rachel: No, I don't want you to buy me a hat! I'm saying I am a ha...It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.
Rachel: Look, Daddy, it's my life. Well, maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.
Monica: Well, I guess we've established she's staying here with Monica...
Rachel: Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait! I said maybe!
Monica: Just breathe, breathe...that's it. Just try to think of nice calm things.
Phoebe: Raindrops on roses And whiskers on kittens. Doorbells and sleigh bells. And something with mittens La la la something. And noodles with string...
Rachel: I'm all better now.
Phoebe: I helped.
Monica: Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know?
Monica: Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, 'hat' thing.
Joey: And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey.
Joey: Me and Chandler live right across the hall. And He's away a lot.
Monica: Joey, Stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day.
Joey: What, like there's a rule or something?
Chandler: I got it. Please don't do that again. It's a horrible sound.
uh, It's, it's Paul.
Monica: Oh, God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in.
Joey: Who's Paul?
Ross: Paul, the wine guy? Paul?
Monica: Maybe.
Joey: Wait a minute. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
Ross: He finally asked you out? Monica: Yes!
Chandler: Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment.
Monica: Rach, wait, I can cancel....
Rachel: Ooh God, Please, no, go, that'd be fine!
Monica: Ooh, Ross, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?
Ross: That'd be good.
Monica: Really?
Ross: No, go on! It's Paul, the wine guy!
Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it? Or he just complains a lot?
Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is...everybody. Everybody, this is Paul.
Everybody: Hey! Paul! Hi! The Wine Guy! Hey!
Chandler: I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?
Monica: Okay, ummumm, I'll justI'll be right back, I just gotta go ah, go ah...
Ross: Awandering?
Monica: Change. Okay, sit down. Two seconds.
Phoebe: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.
Joey: Hey, Paul! Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.
Monica: Shut up, Joey!
Ross: So Rachel, what're you, uh...what're you up to tonight?
Rachel: Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so, nothing.
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon.
Ross: God. . No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year...
Ross: Talk about your, big lizards.
Ross: Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
Chandler: Yes, and we're very excited about it.
Rachel: Well actually thanks, but I think I'm just gonna hang out here tonight. It's been kinda a long day.
Ross: Oh, sure.
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?
Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to.
Phoebe: Love is sweet as summer showers Love is a wondrous work of art. But your love Oh, your love, your love...is like a giant pigeon, crapping on my heart, Lalalalala.
Phoebe: Thank you. Lalalalala
Ross: I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys.
Ross: I have no brackety thing. I see no worm guys whatsoever...and I cannot feel my legs.
Joey: I think we've got a bookcase here.
Chandler: It's beautiful thing.
Joey: What's this?
Chandler: I would have to say that is an Lshaped bracket.
Joey: Which goes where?
Chandler: I have no idea.
Joey: Done with the bookcase.
Chandler: All finished.
Ross: This was Carol's favorite beer.
She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.
Joey: You're gonna start with that stuff, we're outta here.
Chandler: Yeah, please don't spoil all this fun.
Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question.
Joey: She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV. What did you get?
Ross: You guys.
Chandler: Oh, God!
Joey: You got screwed.
Chandler: Oh, my God!
Monica: Oh, my God.
Paul: I know. I know. I'm such an idiot.
Paul: I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week.
Paul: I mean, how clean can teeth get?
Monica: My brother's going through that right now, he's such a mess. How did you get through it?
Paul: I might try accidentally breaking something valuable of hers. Say her Leg?
Paul: That's one way of doing it! Me, II went for the watch.
Monica: You actually broke her watch? Wow! The worst thing I ever did was, II shredded my old boyfriend's favorite bath towel.
Paul: Oh, steer clear of you.
Monica: That's right.
Rachel: Barry, I'm sorry. I am so sorry.
Rachel: I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other night about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't...It's about me. And I just
没什么可说的。只不过是我的同事而已。
少来了，你和那个人出去约会，他一定是有什么问题！
好啦，乔伊，嘴下留德。他驼背吗？驼背又带假发？
慢着，他吃粉笔吗？我只是不想她重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙。喔！
好吧，大家淡定。淡定。这甚至都不算是约会。完全不算。我们只不过是出去吃晚餐，也不做爱。
我觉得听起来像是和我约会。
好啦，回到中学那个时候，我站在自助餐厅中央，突然发现自己全身赤裸。
哦，耶，做过那样的梦。
然后我低头一看，发现有一支大哥大......在那儿。
而不是......？没错！
从没做过那样的梦。
突然，那个电话响起来了。
然后我不知道该怎么办，大家都开始看着我。
之前他们就没看着你？
最后，我觉得应该接这个电话。
结果是我妈妈（打来的）。这十分十分的奇怪，因为她从来不给我打电话。
嗨。
这家伙说句“你好”，我都想自杀。
亲爱的你还好吧？
我就感觉好像有人将手伸进我的喉咙，抓住我的小肠，从我的嘴里拉出来再缠在我的脖子上。
要饼干吗？
卡箩今天搬走了她的东西。
我给你弄杯咖啡。
谢谢
不，喔！不，不要！不要清理我的气息！离我的气息远点，好吗？好吧！继续抑郁吧！
我会没事的，好不好？真的，各位，我希望她会幸福。
不，你并不希望。
不，我不会的，让她见鬼去吧，是她抛弃了我！
你从来都不知道她是女同性恋？
不知道！行了吧？为什么每个人总是揪着这点不放？
她都不知道，我又怎么会知道？
有时候我希望我是女同性恋。我大声说出来啦？
我昨晚告诉爸爸妈妈了，他们似乎很好地接受了。
噢，真的吗？那我凌晨三点接到一个歇斯底里的女人打来的电话，她在电话中抽泣说“我不会有孙子了，我不会有孙子了 ” 那是怎么回事？打错电话啦？
对不起。
没事的，罗斯。听着，你现在感到很痛苦，你很生气，你感到很受伤。
我能告诉你答案是什么吗？脱衣舞俱乐部！
拜托，你单身了，找点乐子吧！
可我不想单身，好不好？
我只是......我只是，我只是想再婚。
而我只想要100万美金！
瑞秋？噢，老天，莫妮卡，你好，感谢上帝！
我刚到你那里去，而你不在，那个拿着大锤子的家伙说你可能在这里，你真在这里，你真在这里。
给你来点咖啡？
无咖啡因的。
好了，各位，这位是瑞秋，林肯高中的另一个幸存者。
这就是各位啦，这是钱德，菲比和乔伊。还有，你还记得我哥哥罗斯吗？
当然，你好！
那么你是现在告诉我们呢，还是说我们等四位湿漉的伴娘来？
哦，天呐，好吧，这大概发生在婚礼前半个小时。
我当时在放置礼品的房间里。我正看着那个船形卤肉盘。
那是个非常好看的船形卤肉盘。当时，突然，我意识到......有糖吗？
我发现比起巴里，这个船形卤肉盘更让我冲动！
然后我吓到了，就在那时我突然想到：巴里看起来有多像土豆头先生，你们知道的，我的意思是，我总觉得他看起来很像，但是......
无论如何，我必须离开那里，然后我开始思考：“我为什么这样做，我为了谁这样做？”
反正我不知道该去哪里，而且我知道你和我有点疏远了，但你是我认识的人里唯一住在这个城市的。
没被邀请参加婚礼的人
。噢，我有点希望这不是什么问题......
现在我猜他给她买了个大管风琴，而她很不喜欢。
金枪鱼或鸡蛋沙拉？快决定！
“克莉丝汀店里有什么我就吃什么。”
爸爸，我只是不能嫁给他！对不起，我只是不爱他。额，但那对我很重要！
“如果我松开我的头发，我的头会掉下来的。”
噢，她真不应该穿那条裤子。
我说把她推下楼梯。
把她推下楼梯！推下楼梯！推下楼梯！
爸爸，听我说！就好像，就好像 在我一生中，所有人都告诉我，“你是鞋子！你是鞋子，你是鞋子，你是鞋子！”
然后今天，我制止了，我说：假如我不想成为鞋子呢？如果我想成为一个包？你知道吗，或者，嗯，一个帽子！”
不，我不是让你给我买帽子，我是说我是一顶帽......这是个比喻，老爸！
你能发现他哪里出了问题。
爸爸，这是我的生活。也许我可以和莫妮卡住在一起。
额，我想我们都确定了她和Monica住这里了......
也许那是我的决定，呵，也许我不需要你的钱。等等！我是说也许！
呼吸，呼吸，就这样。只想着一些让你镇定的好东西。
玫瑰上的雨滴，还有猫的胡须，门铃和雪橇铃还有手套。啦啦啦，还有一些面条......
我现在好多了。
我帮上忙啦！
听着，这或许是最好的结果，知道吗？
独立了，把握自己的生活。就像你说的“帽子”的事情。
还有，你还需要什么，你随时可以来找乔伊。
我和钱德就住在对面。而且他经常不在。
乔伊，不要勾引她了！今天是她结婚的日子！
怎么啦，好像这还有什么规定吗？
我来。请不要再这么干了，这是很难听的声音。
额，我是，我是保罗。
噢，天呐，到6:30了吗？让他进来！
谁是保罗？
保罗，调酒师，保罗？
也许是吧
等等，你今晚的“不是真正约会” 是和调酒师保罗？
他终于约你出去啦？是的！
噢，这可真是个可以载入日记的时刻。
瑞秋，等等，我可以取消......
不，天啊，拜托，不用了，你去吧，没什么的！
哦，罗斯，你还好吧？我是说，你希望我留下来吗？
那再好不过了......
真的？
不，去吧！那可是调酒师保罗！
那是什么意思？他是卖酒的，喝酒的？还是他总爱抱怨？
嗨，进来，保罗，这是......大家。各位，这是保罗。
你好！保罗！嘿！调酒师！嘿！
对不起，我没听清楚你的名字。保罗，是吗？
对，额，我去...... 我马上就好，我正要去，去，去额......
闲逛？
换衣服！好了，坐会儿。很快就好。
噢，我刚拔掉四根睫毛。不是个好兆头。
你好，保罗！告诉你个小贴士，她很喜欢你在她脖子上同一个地方不停地揉来揉去，直到变红为止。
闭嘴，乔伊！
那么瑞秋，你今晚，额......打算干什么？
我本来应该到Aruba度蜜月，所以......没事做！
是呀，你都没办法过蜜月。
天呐，不，不，不过，阿鲁巴岛每年这个时候......
可以谈论下，大蜥蜴。
不管怎样，如果今晚你不想一个人待着的话，乔伊和钱德要过来帮我组装我的新家具。
是呀，而且我们为此非常兴奋。
谢谢了，不过我想今晚还是待在这里吧。今天可真是漫长（不好过）。
是呀，没问题。
嘿，Pheebs，你想来帮忙吗？
哦，我希望我可以去，但我不想去。
爱情就像夏日冲凉一样甜美，爱情是无以伦比的艺术品。但是你的爱呀，你的爱，你的爱就像一只巨大的鸽子，在我心中排泄。
谢谢。Lalalala......呜呜呜呜呜呜......
我应该用这些螺杆把支架固定在侧面。
我没有支架，没有看到螺杆什么的......而且，我的腿麻了。
我想我们弄好书架了。
看起来不错。
这是什么？
我会说那是个L型支架。
它应该安在哪里？
我完全......没有想法。
搞定书架了！
完工了！
这是卡箩最喜欢的啤酒。
她总是对着罐子喝，我本该知道的（她是女同）。
你要是再开始那些话，我们就走了。
就是，不要破坏所有这些乐趣。
问你一个问题。
她得到家具，音响，好电视，你得到了什么？
你们呀。
天呀。
你被坑了。
哦，我的天啊！
哦，我的老天！
我知道，我知道，我真是个笨蛋。
当她一礼拜见四五次牙医的时候，我本该察觉到的。
我的意思是，牙齿能多干净呀？
我哥哥正在经历这种事呢，他糟透了。你是怎么熬过来的？
我可能会试着砸烂她的一些贵重的东西。比如她的...... 腿？
那是一种方式！我的话，我砸了她的表。
你真的砸了她的手表？哇哦！我做过的最过分的事情只是剪碎了男朋友最喜欢的浴巾。
得离你远点。
没错。
巴里，对不起，真的对不起。
我知道你可能认为这都是跟那晚我对你说你穿袜子做爱有关，但不是的，这都是我的问题，我只是......
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发表于 2023-11-28 14:40:56
